Roller coaster ride

3.5 weeks ago my worst nightmare occurred and I found myself injured to the point of not being able to work.
For someone who is self employed this is a huge deal because not working = no money coming in.
The other worry was that until this past Monday I didn't even know if I would be able to go back to working in my current job.  I didn't know if I had torn my rotator cuff and if I had, then my days of working in child care were done.  A torn rotator cuff pretty much means I can't lift anything of substantial weight (25 pounds or more) constantly every day.  It would also mean surgery and a lengthily recovery.

Now I am looking at 3-5 more weeks before I can go back to work.  Now I am licensed through Wee Watch so the three children I had full time have been in back up.
Today I learned that I will in fact be having a 4 year old and a 6 year old start right away (Monday in fact).  At the same time I learned the parents of the 11 month old who was in my care want to keep their back up provider.  This is not absolutely set in stone yet, but still I can't say no you have to come back and neither can Wee Watch.  Ultimately it comes down to what the parents feels is best for the child and we have to respect that.
On the other hand the one year old's parents and the two year old's parents are counting down the days until I am back to work.
Also C is lining up an interview for a 3 year old for me.  She is banking on the 11 month old staying where she is based on comments the parents have made and also feels its in my best interest for me to have older children given my shoulder.  I agree.  Just an interview doesn't guarantee the child will be in my care in December when I return to work. 
It's frustrating, but a hazard of working in my field as a home day care provider. 
The ups and downs of having a full house and not having a full house is tedious.  Especially when I need to be working at capacity.
On the other hand at least I was smart enough to obtain private disability insurance so I will get some money for the time off. 
The time off has given me lots of time for introspection.  In truth I was wondering if I actually wanted to keep working in my chosen field.  After 3 weeks off, the answer is yes.  I miss the kids.  Perhaps the injury is a blessing in disguise in that it's giving me the opportunity to fully recharge. 
I am looking forward to having an older house.  My favourite age is the 3-6 year old group. 
So in the long run I would be quite happy with having a 1 year old, a 2 year old, a 3 year old, a 4 year old, a 6 year old and William (also 3).  I would be as equally as happy to keep the 11 month old in lieu of the 3 year old.
Time will tell.
Now we just have to survive financially while I finish healing over the next month or so.