The Day of Sad

Today was a far more emotional day than I anticipated.  We laid to rest Tiger Lily and Hexadecimal, 17 years and 4 months old.

Last night I had to have the conversation with my 6 year old about why we were "killing the cats."

Once he understood that we can't give human medicine to pets with regards to cancer and surgery because of their age he stopped stressing.  They were in pain, they were losing weight, barely keeping what they ate down and losing control of their bodies.  They were suffering.

He swung between crying and being manically happy through out the day.

I took some nice pictures of both cats by themselves and with W.

My Dad was having a really hard time coping with W when we went to the vet.  W was definitely overcompensating for being upset by behaving almost annoyingly hyper and chipper.

He's 6, he can "forget" about bad feelings temporarily with ease with distraction, especially when you factor in his ADHD.

The vet was very nice, hadn't met this one before.  Tiger peed on them when they were putting the catheter in her leg.  They saw how bad it was, and they did not disagree that this was the best course of action, especially when we told them Hex wasn't any different.

W couldn't hold Tiger, so I did, just as I promised Jen that I would.  However he did pet her in her special spot (she loved to be stroked on the ridge of her nose and forehead) the whole time, just like he told Auntie Jen he would.
Dad held Hex.
We all cried.

Both were "gone" within seconds of the 'medicine' being given to them.

Dad and I were crying before that occurred.  As W saw what was happening he too cried and kept petting Tiger, his "favouritist in the world who was now gone."
He impressed the vet by coming and wiping my eyes with the kleenex we had brought while I held Tiger.

We wrapped them in their snowflake blankets (one of their favourites) and brought them home together in the same carrier.

We explained to W, that they will be residing in the freezer downstairs until the thaw so we can place them is the "Fairy Garden" aka the rose garden where another beloved family pet has been laid to rest.

He has announced until that happens he won't go to the basement.  I told him I understood.

He's six, his six year old imagination just does weird things with something like this.

When I was talking to my sister later this evening, he came and literally grabbed the phone out of my hand, which is incredibly unusual for him.

He said to Auntie Jen "We're putting Hex and Tiger in the freezer do you think they will move around"
She was like "but W they're dead they won't move-"
"No Auntie Jen not their bodies, their ghosts!"

She agreed with him and after he handed the phone back to me he told me that he thinks that Tiger and Hex's ghosts will stay here to keep him safe.

Possible, but not likely, but who am I to tell him different at this point?
Especially if it makes him feel better?

He also informed me to tell Auntie Jen that she has to help him make a tombstone to put in the garden because "Auntie Jen is good with tools."

The dog has gone looking for them, she keeps sniffing all the usual spots and can't find them.
I don't think my cat has registered yet that she is the only one here.
I know she went and hid when she heard them get put in the carriers and with her past experience would stay hiding for awhile --my old other cat used to terrorize her any time he spent anytime in the carrier.
And since Hex, Tiger and Katy had only tenuously gotten along this past year and a half since we moved in, it will likely take her a few days to notice she is on her own with the dog.

It's weird.

I keep looking and listening for them.  I expect that will be the case for a number of weeks.

I am thankful that W's first experience of the loss of a family pet was this way, then the way it happened for me when I was a child.
Losing a pet due to It being hit by a car is far harder to accept then one who has had to go on because they were ill.

Today we had time to say good bye as hard as it still was.

I am just left with the surreal sense of how floppy and light Tiger felt after she left.

Tiger and Hex, you crossed the Rainbow Bridge today.  I am sure you were greeted by Casey.
One day in the future we will see you again soon.

Hexadecimal

Tiger Lily