Parenting through a Separation

Can't say as I have any real experience here.

I literally feel like I can barely keep my head above water between trying to field questions from William, work, recovering from surgery, packing and trying to sell what we can't take with us.

William has many many questions.

I don't have the answers.  Nor can I honestly answer most.

He desperately keeps asking me "Why can't daddy just pay attention and do what he is supposed to do and listen to you so you can stay together?" "Why can't he do things now instead of later?"

To clarify, this stems from him over hearing his father and I arguing.

Most of the time we are arguing about the fact that his father refuses to manage and learn to cope with his ADHD (diagnosed 8 years ago).

So there is a lot of dialogue that includes things along the lines of the following: "Why aren't you listening to me?" "Were you not paying attention at all?" "Why do you never do what you say you are going to do?" "No you are going to do it now, because later never comes with you!"

I glossed over that answer.  I don't know why his Dad isn't willing to put us first and work on coping with his mental disorder so that we could have stayed together as a family. I have been asking that for three or four years now. 

I focused on the fact that Daddy and I spend a lot of the time arguing and yelling and that isn't fun for any of us.  That it is Daddy and I who are the problem, not him.

I talked about the fact that we are still a family, but our family is changing so that we live apart from each other.

I pointed out the numerous people he knows who have Moms and Dads who don't live together which helped a lot.

I have ordered some books from Chapters to help.  Three story books, one you can watch on youtube:

http://youtu.be/AqMf6feCy7s (Thanks Kada!) called Mom and Dad Glue.  Then one called Two Homes and another called My Family's Changing.

I am hoping they can answer the questions I am struggling to answer benignly so that he doesn't know how hurt, frustrated and angry I am with his father.