I feel weird

So today I closed the last three of my student loans.  The collective total was less then Andrew's tuition for this term.  So we decided to roll them over into our Line of Credit for the sake of ease.  Especially since the benefit for leaving them as Student loans for a write off is so tiny at the loans' current sizes.
It's an odd feeling.
Finally being free of that EVIL Center of DOOM.  To be fair my one of the loans was with the Royal Bank because it pre-dates January 2001.  The Royal Bank was nothing but a pleasure to deal with.
NSLSC not so much.  These were the people who twice over the past 10 years started debting my payments from me TWICE a month two months in a row and I had to fight almost four months to get that money back.
And then called me every day for a month after I got my money back to tell me I was behind on my payments.

They also reverted my last name back to my maiden name this year after everything coming to me in my married name for the past four years.  They told me I had to go through the same rigmarole as I did the first time to get it changed back. I looked at what I owed.  I looked at our line of credit and said "Screw you NSLSC!"  and promptly paid the loans out.
Then I went and looked at the Royal loan and said "Seriously?? That's all that is left on that one?" and paid it out too.  It would have cleared itself with the automatic payments by April.

It is nice having all our debt consolidated into one place.  We are now paying it off faster at a lower payment per month versus everything being split up at varying interest rates.

I received my tax receipt for Wee Watch today.

And there was a good reason we were in dire straights financially this past year.  I can now point at it and show my husband and say "See I wasn't making it up all along."
I made significantly less this past year then I have ever in my 5.5 years of being with Wee Watch.  I was also off eleven weeks plus any sick days (maybe a week's worth) and doctor appointments (4 days).  That is more time off then the year I had William.
I have also not had a full house since December 2010.   I worked some pretty crazy hours to make up for it, and nearly burnt myself out.  And my body rebelled... (Had to have the pilonidal cyst removed AND moderate sprain of my right shoulder accounting for nine of those weeks off).

Though things have only improved marginally, I will not budge from my Monday to Friday schedule.
I will not budge from my 7am-530pm hours either.  I am no good to anyone if my health goes to sh*t.  And as we learned while I was off with my shoulder, there is NOTHING out there that I will bring in as much money as I currently am without going back to school.  Especially when you consider the fact that Andrew barely makes a real wage as a Doctorate Student.  Sure we qualify for subsidy... 8 month waiting list and we would have to pay for child care out of our pocket and they only back date a month of fees.  So I would be working out of the house to pay for child care.  Seemed kind of pointless.  In the end my shoulder was fixable and I was able to go back to work.

As of next week I will have all my under 3 spots filled.  Now I have to find children 3.5 years old and older if I want to have a full house.  This means school-aged kids with before and after school care.  With subsidy still having their waiting list and everyone and their uncle now running a home day care in this neighbourhood (and many of them are pretty sketchy.  --There is a reason home day cares should be forced to be licensed!! -that's whole separate rant to itself), it's not likely I am going to find anyone soon.

Once William starts kindergarten I will have two spots for younger kids again.  I'll actually have room for another 1 year old.  So if anyone knows someone who will be going back to work from a maternity leave in September feel free to give them my number.  I have a spot.
I love having been able to be with my son while he was little, but I resent the people who imply that it didn't cost me anything in child care. William counts toward my ratio.  Therefore he costs me a spot while he is under the age of 5.  So what you all pay in fees per a month to someone/some place is what I lose in income per a month for having William home.  So in around about way I DO pay for my son to be in child care by not getting paid for the spot he fills.

With luck Andrew will be done his PHD in December.  And maybe in January he will start working some where that pays him a real wage.  And likely he won't be doing three peoples work plus his own any more either.  That online comic PHD Piled Higher and Deeper really isn't far off the mark with regards to the life of a grad student.

And for all of you who keep asking me WHEN are we going to START trying to have another BABY?
Likely we'll start trying sometime near the end of this year.
William asks me daily (every night before bed) "When are you going to make me a big brother?"
He really really really wants both a brother and a sister.  I told him "he'll get what ever comes out when Mommy does start growing a baby and there will only be one."
I would gladly get pregnant now as I would rather not wait given my age, but I'd like to know if we are going to have to move in the beginning of 2013 and I don't want a wee baby or to be pregnant if that were to occur.