Children and harnesses/leashes

I came across a debate in a forum I frequent from time to time about children and the use of harness/leashes.

Once long ago I maintained I would never ever harness/leash my child.  I would not belittle them in such a fashion.

Then I found myself at the Mariposa Folk Festival 2010 in Orillia during its 50th anniversary celebration with my 22 month old son.
I nearly had a panic attack as he darted in and around the hundreds of people during the Friday night events.  He was so excited and wanted to see EVERYTHING and I could barely keep up for the number of people.
Now I had been to the Festival three years in a row leading up to that year and never had I seen numbers like that for a Friday night.
It made me worry about the numbers on Saturday.
After the millionth panic attack that night I looked at my Mom and said before we come back in the morning we have to go get a back pack harness.

Now I had seen leashes/harnesses around.  I knew they existed.  A friend of mine had a monkey backpack for her daughter.  It was great because it also helped ground her when she started to get antsy (she has Autism Spectrum Disorder) in an unfamiliar setting or large group.  So I knew I could get something that wasn't blatantly a leash.

So Saturday morning my parents made a run out to Walmart and got a Monkey backpack.  He wore it all weekend willingly.  When we were at base camp (main chair sitting area for the evening concert) and the children's area I would tuck the tail into the back pack pocket and he would look like he was wearing a regular back pack.

So what I learned is yes there is a time and a place for harnesses.

I still really really dislike the ones that go around the wrist or look very much like the harness that you would put on a dog or cat. I think it is really a personal preference that I would rather it is less obvious and more appropriate for the wearer.

I do not believe leash/harnesses should be used every day when going for walks, going grocery shopping etc.
If your child is too young to know enough to stay near you in those settings then they shouldn't be walking without holding your hand or in a stroller/cart.

I say this with full confidence as someone who walks 6 children to and from school of which 4 of those children are under the age of 4 and only one of them is in a stroller.
It takes a lot of work to help the children get the idea of staying with the group.  All of them know that we must stay as a group in the parking lot, that they may stray a head a couple of feet on the side walk and if they don't adhere to these rules that they will have to hold my hand/the side of the stroller the entire walk including at the school yard while waiting for the buzzer to go.
Really it goes back to the advice I gave in regards to tantrums.

Consistency is key.

Children can be taught at a young age that parking lots, roads etc are not appropriate places to play and that it is very much NOT funny to try and run out into one even if it is just to Mom or Dad.

Long long ago I did back up care for a child who used to escape from his mother's grasp on purpose and run around.  Including in the parking lot.  And instead of being stern and making it clear as she chased and caught him this wasn't acceptable, she laughed!

This drove me nuts, because not only was this totally unsafe (I did witness him nearly get run over) she was reinforcing it!

Mixed messages are the worst... and a rant I could easily go on at length about so I will save it for another day.

In conclusion, I stand by my opinion that leash/harnesses have their place, but should not be relied upon as the sole way to keep your child with you when out and about.

And I leave you with the tidbit that my son has made us take his monkey places (Conventions, Air Show, Zoo, CNE, trips to the local childrens' MUSEUM etc).  Sometimes he just wears it like a back pack and sometimes he has even made us hold on to him(taken the tail out of the pocket and put it into our hands).
He is going on 5 years old.  He says it makes him feel safe and he likes his Monkey friend and doesn't want him to be left out.
Really who am I to argue with that kind of logic?