Nanowrimo Day 2

Words: 479

Total to date: 803

Nope not on track to make 50,000 in a month, BUT they are words none the less and progress is being made.

I hope that each day passes it will become easier and less anxious.

Nanowrimo 2018

In years passed I have generally attempted the minim nanowrimo with some success. In other words I set a word amount I needed to meet each day that was less than what is required for the full Nanowrimo (write 50,000 words in a month).

Due to the changing of moderators etc of that LJ group I didn't participate last year and apparently that means I have been removed permanently from the group.

A friend on Facebook is doing the Nanowrimo and I commented that I wish I thought I could do it, but I lacked inspiration. At his encouragement I am attempting the Nanowrimo, even if I don't get to 50,000 words.

My strained ribs and very busy work schedule, plus being a Mom and home schooling probably won't alow for 50,000 words in one month. But as my friend send this is about making the time to put words to a page and let the rest unfold.



I have been avoiding writing for awahile. Writing for me, means being vulnerable and do so lets many demons in. I need to start working to changing that line of thought as to return back to what used to be my one love. When I felt full of passion and inspiration and a constant need to write.

But as memories unraveled, I left my ex and I struggled to put words to paper for story. I'd start and stop or push it away because that meant going into my emotions as I write from them. I don't know how to explain it otherwise.

So it's time to stop letting my anxiety and PTSD block me from my former love. I don't expect this will be easy. The want to delete absolutely every single word I write will be hard. But if I don't write how can I get the story out? If I don't write how can I get better. I am so rusty. 7 years since I last worked on anything beyond RPG stuff and that fizzled out because of me. The rough draft is supposed to be rough. Then ideas can be flushed out and expanded upon.

328 words for November 1st. -on a story I began so long ago. Not many, but a start.

My son has a Video to Share Ride for Refuge

Mom notes:

William is reading because he was so nervous about speaking in front of camera he finally had me type out what he was trying to say.  This was attempt #17 or 18

William says:

To those that want to make a donation of items to the homeless to please contact my Mom.
Watch the video to find out the list of items being collected.

To make a money donation please go here:
https://secure.e2rm.com/registrant/FundraisingPage.aspx?registrationID=4204754&langPref=en-CA

Thanks for watching my video.

Love William

A Letter from my Son --Ride for Refuge

To My Friends and Family,

I am walking 5km in the Ride for Refuge because I am not good enough to ride my bike.

I am doing the ride because I want to help raise money for Building Hope and The Lighthouse Shelter and Soup Kitchen.

Building Hope is going to be a shelter for homeless Men, Women, Children and Families.

Orillia doesn't have anything except a Men's shelter for homeless people.

I am also collecting donations of tooth paste, tooth brushes, deodorant and period pads (Mom note: he mean's maxi pads), soap and travel shampoo.  Mom says to tell you to drop them off at the house or give them to me at Cubs.

I am also doing this and Coldest Night of the Year as part of my Final Cub project for the Seeonee Badge (Mom note: Like the Chief Scout award in Scouts but for Cubs).

You can use the link my Mom is putting below or email my Mom (nicole.m.kasurak@gmail.com) an e-transfer or when you see me next give me the actual money.  I need your Name, address and phone number for donations over $20 so they can send you tax receipts.

My goal is $200.

https://secure.e2rm.com/registrant/FundraisingPage.aspx?registrationID=4204754&langPref=en-CA

Love you

William 

Why am I so passionate?

I was asked why, as a home school parent, why I am so passionate about the repeal of the Ontario 2015 Health and Physical Education curriculum.

This.  This is why:

Because I still teach youth and because of 15 years of working in childcare we still have adults teaching children the proper names for our body parts are dirty words. 

Because teaching consent at a young age is important. Because recognizing when we are struggling emotionally and mentally and when we should seek help/from whom is important. 

Yes I home school, but I have to follow our Provincial curriculum, I have the luxury of teaching the 2015 health and Physical Education Curriculum. 

I also know after reading studies, the 2015 curriculum that I am in the minority for teaching my child with regards to sex ed and now we have children able to access technology at all times of the day in most cases better than their parents realize and that is not the place for our youth to be getting their information. 

And why should I ever think it’s okay for us to revert back to a curriculum that doesn’t address technology, bullying, mental health, consent, addiction, LGTBQ2 and what that means and looks like and I could go on.

I’d be this passionate even if I did not have a child. 

Sexual predators prey on the fact that for the majority of families sex is a taboo topic, it’s bad and that is how they keep their victims silent.

I am a victim of that last point. 

Yes my parents answered and taught us the facts of life, however we grew up in a day and age where we were expected to listen to our elders. Not one did we ever get taught that our bodies were our own. That no one ever had the right to touch us in any way we did not like. Actually we were brought up to kiss and hug our relatives whether we wanted to or not. The “family friend” used that to his advantage. I was first abused at the age my son is now. 
That is how predators work and a strong sex ed curriculum deters predators as well as results in reports happening right away when something happens. 

That is why I’m passionate about this.

Ontario's 2015 Health Curriculum -- Rally

Support Ontario's 2015 Healthcare Curriculum:

Place Orillia Public Library Courtyard
Date: Sunday September 9th 2018
Time: 2:00pm to 4:00pm

Sunday September 9th 2018 at the Orillia Public Library Courtyard we are holding a rally in support of the repealed 2015 Ontario Health Curriculum.

The one that was thoroughly researched and consulted that our current provincial government has repealed because they believe "parents weren't consulted" and have reverted back to the 1998 Sex education curriculum.

You know the one that is so old it doesn't even mention sexting, cyber bullying, it doesn't even cover consent or teaching the correct names for our body parts to kindergarten and up.  It also has no mention about gender fluidity, or anything related to LGBTQ.

Wasting our tax payer dollars to create something that doesn't need to be created.  We are moving backwards here in Ontario, not forwards.

In 2015 we were touted as having the most up to date Physical Health Education Curriculum in the country.  Not so much now.

Doug Ford has even implemented a "teacher snitch line" for parents to report if their childrens' teachers dare to deviate from the 1998 Sex education program.

When did it become terrible to teach our children and teens about consent?  About what healthy relationships of ALL kinds look like,  This includes friendship.
When did it become offensive to teach our children and teens tolerance of others differences?
Why are we okay ignoring that lack of teaching consent is directly connected with rape culture?

Informed children make better choices.  Studies world wide back this.

Children who are taught about inappropriate and appropriate touch (physical or sexual) or more likely to stand up for themselves and report it to someone of authority.

Why are we reverting back to a curriculum that favors the sexual predator?

My parents taught us the facts of life by the time were 7 or 8.  Too bad, because of societal views at the time, neither thought to teach us about inappropriate touch and that regardless of adult or child it was never okay.
Instead a family "friend" preyed on all three of us and convinced us that it was something we shouldn't talk about or tell because WE would be the ones who would be in trouble.

I had a conversation about inappropriate touch with my son at the age of 4.  At almost 10 we have gone into further detail as to what that may look like.  I do not want him to ever be put in the position I was put in at his age.  Ever.

I am so tired of other parents given the cry "I can teach this just fine to my kids myself they don't need it at school!!"

That's great that you are a smart, competent adult teaching your children consent, the facts of life and tolerance.  You would be the minority.

Why else would I have had to explain to 5+ year olds (I've lost count over the years) that vagina and penis are NOT bad words, but the proper names for their private parts.
I have had pre teens think that as long as they are having oral sex they can't get STDs.
Or that if their partner pulls out as he cums they can't get pregnant.

And I can't tell you how many people including myself who have been assaulted and we were either brushed aside, told we must have asked for it, or that it was entirely our fault.

I don't even fully comprehend the online atrocities our young people now face.  Internet was just being born when I was in high school.  Cell phones didn't even become a house hold item until the mid 2000s.  It frightens me that now teachers have NOTHING to teach their students about online predators, bullying, sexting etc because it was repealed.  And it is NOT in the Interim Sex education program.

But because a small subset believe that because they are responsible parents we don't NEED this curriculum and the asshat we have for a premier thinks his tiny portion of followers need to be listened to we are now stuck with an archaic curriculum.

Those of you in Orillia and area, come out on Sunday and make your voice heard.  Please.

For your Reading Leisure:

The 2015 Revised 2015 Curriculum for grades 1-8
https://www.oaith.ca/assets/files/2015%20Health%20and%20Physical%20Education%20Curriculum.pdf

The 2015 Revised 2015 Curriculum for grades 9-12
http://www.edu.gov.on.ca/eng/curriculum/secondary/health9to12.pdf


A link to the EFTO (Ontario Teachers Federation) on what the 2015 Curriculum meant for staff
http://www.etfo.ca/SupportingMembers/Employees/PDF%20Versions/The%202015%20Health%20and%20Physical%20Education%20Curriculum%20and%20You.pdf

A news story about the difference between the interim Sex Ed Curriculum and the 2015 Health Curriculum
https://www.theglobeandmail.com/canada/article-the-differences-between-ontarios-interim-sex-ed-curriculum-and-2015s/

A news article that clearly explains why the Interim Sex Ed Curriculum is a lesson in Homophobia where the 2015 teaches inclusion and tolerance.
https://www.theglobeandmail.com/opinion/article-ontarios-dated-sex-ed-plan-is-a-lesson-in-homophobia/

What are you now?

Lately I have seen posts with comments of people I went to school with both elementary and high school. 

People who were down right vile, rude, mean and horrid to those they felt beneath them.
People who treated others worse than animals.  Who thought it perfectly fine to pin and grope girls breasts and private parts at recess at the age of 10+
People who thought it fun to threaten to kill you or find you and rape you if you said anything about the name calling, the pinching, the shoving into lockers, the nearly breaking your wrist in your locker.

People who are now adults with young children.

Do they teach their children to be better than they were?

Are they now hypocrites who are angered and outraged when their child is now on the receiving of the very same behaviour they themselves inflicted upon others?

People who seem to be good upstanding members of society.  Despite the darkness they spread for the first 17-18 years of their lives.

What are they now?

Do they acknowledge they failed at basic human decency when they were young?  Do they hide from it?  Pretend it never happened or that it wasn't as bad as we say it was?

Have they taught their children to treat others with decency or have they created another bully?

Do they also think their child can do no wrong no matter what the school says just like their parents?

Do their children get away with acting atrociously out of their presence because they to choose to be ignorant of the possibility their child could in fact be doing the things they were accused of?  And that perhaps it keeps happening and getting worse because the child(ren) know that no matter how they act that their parents will side with them always?

Do these people carry the weight of their actions?  Do any of them ever feel guilty? Do they ever have flashbacks to the wrong doings they did like those of us who were bullied by them?

Do any of them ever look their children in the eyes and decide that they will strive to be a better person to ensure their children do not be like them through their younger years?

It's hard.  To see some of these people exalted and hailed as upstanding members of society when you know what they were capable of as children and young adults.

People need to stop and think before they speak

I have never liked Patrick Brown, now former leader of the PC Party of Ontario.

I am disappointed, angry and hurt by some of the comments friends and family members have made about the women who came forward with allegations of sexual misconduct against Mr. Brown.

Why?

Because according to their short sightedness and misconceptions those women are just making it up and therefore deliberately destroying a man's life.
Because apparently it can't be true because they didn't come forward right away OR press charges OR they must have been asking for it OR they weren't too drunk to perform sexual acts so they must have wanted it.

First of all statistically speaking the average false accusations made is 2% out of all sexual assault complaints filed in the United States and Europe.
So statistically speaking it very unlikely they are lying.

It speaks volumes that Patrick Brown's entire team resigned well before he finally conceded and stepped down.

But ultimately the reason I am so disappointed, hurt and  angry?

Because by dismissing these women and their experiences as untrue because they didn't report it or press charges therefore implies that because I didn't report or press charges against the man and boys who abused me, it isn't true.

Yes I was a child.  Yes my abuser was an adult.  However I have never filed a police report.  None of my siblings have either.

Or what about the 14 year old who boy assaulted (groped me, tried to kiss me, grabbed my by my vagina) me at an All Sections Scouting camp when I was in Ventures?  I reported that one, except the leader in question told me that it was just the boy showing that he liked me and that I must have done something to make him act that way.  --I am forever grateful for my friends in who were in my group's Scout troop who were incensed by my leader's lack of action and took it upon themselves to protect me and have "words" with the jerk in question.

I didn't report or file charges against the 16 year old who lived in the same apartment building as I who repeatedly accosted me and tried to force his tongue down my throat, groped me and would have potentially raped me if I hadn't managed to knee him in the balls and punch him in the face.
Didn't report it or say anything because everyone liked the guy and his parents were the assistant supers. 


So by the above opinions held by you, my friends and family,  it either didn't happen or it's my fault because I didn't report it or press charges.

Bullshit. 

It happened. 

And yes I could go about pressing charges now, but to what end?  Would I be believed?  Do I want to open up ALL of those memories and emotional wounds again?

I struggle with my PTSD as it is.  And your comments, signing of petitions etc are triggers.  Why?  Because by dismissing those women the way you have you have dismissed what myself and every other person who has been sexually assaulted and never reported it/didn't report it right away or never pressed formal charges.
You are saying what happened to us means nothing.

Yes, Mr. Brown is a man who held a position of significant power.  Yes his career and life as he knows it has ended.  And statistically speaking, he is guilty of what he is accused of having done.  CTV would not have placed themselves in a position to be sued for defamation of character without first ensuring these women's stories were based on fact.  They aren't fox news, they are not the tabloids.

I know people who have been apart of  Mr. Brown's political circle and not one of them were surprised by the allegations.

So is it really the women's fault?  No.  He was the one who behaved like an entitled ass and now he is dealing with the ramification of his actions as he should.
Being a political figure does not give him a free pass or mean that he could never have done those things. 

Let me be clear ALL men and women should have to face the ramification of their actions when they have sexually assaulted someone else. 

And yes, when it becomes public, this could be career ending.  As it should be.

No one mistakenly sexually assaults someone else if you are a decent human being.

People keep saying that men are now afraid of how their actions will be perceived by women and that we women are blowing things way out of proportion.

That we women are on a witch hunt against men.

No. We. Are. Not.. 

We are just finally tired of being silent.  We are finally finding strength in others coming forward.  Which was the whole point of the #MeToo movement.

The only men who need to be afraid or the men who didn't think they had to treat women as real people. 

And unfortunately, as the past several months have shown, there are many who abused their positions, believed they were untouchable and behaved atrociously.

Men who treat women as equals, as friends, family, partners.  They have nothing to worry about.

Being a decent person is not gender specific.  Not once have I said women are better than men. 

Women don't come forward because we are told that some how we must have been able to prevent what happened to us.  That some how it is our fault.

And all the men in my life who have been raped feel the exact same way.  Because how could a woman have raped them?  How could they be that weak?

Statistically more rapes go unreported because the victims fear being lynched or scrutinized if their case goes public.  We are also made to feel responsible in some way for our accusers actions toward us.

As women we are often told we must have magically sent a signal that gave men a free pass to grope us, touch us, make lewd comments to us or try to force us into having sex.
Or we must have dressed a certain way. 

We do not choose to be assaulted.  What we wear does not determine that we want to be assaulted. 
We are not things to be possessed or manipulated or coerced into doing sexual acts just because we are women.

For your reading pleasure:


https://atixa.org/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/Lisak-False-Allegations-16-VAW-1318-2010.pdf

https://www.theglobeandmail.com/news/investigations/unfounded-sexual-assault-canada-main/article33891309/

http://theconversation.com/heres-the-truth-about-false-accusations-of-sexual-violence-88049

https://qz.com/980766/the-truth-about-false-rape-accusations/

https://web.stanford.edu/group/maan/cgi-bin/?page_id=297