Anxiety and my Child

Getting my diagnosis for my Anxiety has changed my life.
Learning and understanding what Anxiety is, how it effects me and what it looks like for me has helped me immensely.

It has also made me realize just how long I have lived with anxiety.  This wasn't something I developed, this is something that has impacted me since childhood.

This hit home for me when I learned what panic attacks can look like outside of the stereotype.

This is what has allowed me to recognize that my almost seven year old is suffering from Anxiety along with his ADHD.

See as long as he felt safe and secure, it was rarely seen.  Where it started to manifest was when he made the switch from nursery school to kindergarten, changing from the parent/child swim class to the child only swim class, followed by the separation of his Dad and I (which also caused some of its own emotional turmoil for him).

It worsened extensively during his time in Senior Kindergarten and Grade 1 when his regular teacher went on sick leave for 8 weeks.  We began homeschooling in the January.

It has progressively snowballed to the point that I am about to take him to the doctor to talk about medication and we are on numerous wait lists for different programs like New Path etc. for counseling.

Why?

Because nearly seven year old boys should NOT being having full blown panic attacks over trivial things such as going to the bathroom by himself at a group function at a place he has been to several times before and never had an issue.  Having a panic attack over not being able to do a school related activity perfectly on the first try or not being able to find me while I am downstairs in the house we have lived in for two years while he is upstairs. Not being able to sleep in his bed because a friend of his Dad's didn't take in account that just because he was laughing at the very campy ghost stories didn't mean it wasn't going to be an issue later when the child with the incredibly OVERACTIVE imagination processed it into a full blown fear of all shadows, creepy noises and dark to go along with the panic attacks.

The switch to home schooling has eliminated all complaints of stomach issues and sleep issues (up till the camping event with his Dad that occurred mid July).

Our work with him on identifying when he is feeling overwhelmed or anger is a work in progress. However he now can self sooth and calm himself down after an outburst, recognize what he should have done, articulate that to the person he yelled/hit and apologize entirely on his own.

Except out of the blue he has now taken to yelling at himself that "he is so stupid, he shouldn't keep doing _________"

I have had to work hard to get him to hear me and listen to me that he is not stupid, he is human and we ALL make mistakes.  He made a mistake and he can see that and continue to keep trying to make the better choice next time.
Still trying to pinpoint where this is coming from as BOTH his Dad and I do not say things like that too him ever.

I also told him that just by recognizing what he did wrong and apologizing he is ahead of many adults in the world.

His early birthday present from me was a trip to Build-a-Bear where he was given a specific budget to build something who would help protect him from the "night time monsters."
He made a Toothless from How to Train your Dragon.
So together with Fluffy (the bunny he made last year at Build-a-Bear with his Aunt), Toothless has made bed time a little easier and me getting my bed to myself in the near future actually plausible.

What has been hard is getting his Dad to understand.
It was stupid of me to assume that because his Dad has ADHD that he'd be able to understand, relate and support our son.
And to remember that our son is only a child.  Sometimes his expectations are incredibly high or unrealistic for our son's age.  Which does not help with the anxiety.

My heart aches for my child.  I literally know exactly what he is going through.

The upside is that I know.  I can help him and I can get him help.

30 years ago they never would have even considered anxiety as a possibility in a child.
It would have saved me so much heartache and my Mom too.

It just sucks that in current day we've had to wait nearly 1.5 years on a wait list for counselling.
If I had money, he could have had access right away.

Heck getting a full psychological assessment isn't covered by anyone.
That's nearly $3000 now.

Who has that kind of money just laying around??

I know my son has ADHD.  I have read more papers, more books and research than our family doctor.  The doctor we saw at the School Success Program was impressed by my knowledge and agreed.  So it would be really nice if one of them would finally put it in writing so I can apply for funding and such to help my son.

It will be interesting to see what they do with regards to formally diagnosing W with Anxiety.

Sigh.