Self Help Skills

Something I have noticed more often than not over the 11+ years I have been working in the field of child care is people grossly underestimate what children can do.

They also fail to communicate important details.

Seriously, how am I supposed to guess if you don't tell me that your child cannot drink out of a regular cup?

At over 2 1/2 years of age I expect children to be drinking from a regular cup.

Mainly because when I worked in the day care centre as soon as a child turned 2-21/2 they moved to the junior preschool room and then the child had no choice but to drink from a regular cup.

Also my own son was drinking from a regular cup at 18 months, and for the most part so has every other child in my care.  Occasionally some were closer to two, but always by age two they were using a big kid cup (aka a regular cup).

Sure it can be messy, but the more they do it the better they get at using the skill.  Practicing with small amounts of water is the best way.
My rule is you have to demonstrate at snack times you can drink with out dumping for a couple of weeks straight before you get your milk at lunch in a regular cup.
Though recently I had a child who floored me by being the complete opposite.  He would not spill a drop of milk when using a big kid cup, but would make a royal mess with water.  Apparently he really liked milk.
Just goes to show you that not every child fits the norm.

Fork/spoon use... also something I have seen a lot of kids struggle with over the years.  I have lost count of how many children I have seen in the centres or had come through my house for back up or even in my care that could barely feed themselves with a spoon at age 2.

Spoon use should start before a year.

No I don't expect them to actually feed themselves, BUT they can certainly try while you use a separate spoon to help.

Generally a child can spoon feed yogurt and applesauce by about 12-18 months if they are given the opportunity to do so.  --sometimes younger.

Yes the process is messy, but again how else do they learn and practice the skill if they aren't given the chance?

Fork use, trickier... depends on the child.  I have given forks to children at 18 months, most always by 2 years of age.

Sippy cups... as soon as they will take one (4-6 months +)

When to ditch it?

At the table:  As soon as they have mastered drinking from a regular cup.

Outside and through the day: By about 3.  When they can easily ask for a drink when they are thirsty.

And then use it only for those busy times like going to the park/in the car/at a party.
The times where spills are likely to occur or the child to forget about it and toss it aside.

Though at 3.5 years + they should have a proper water bottle over a sippy.  Why?
Because eventually they go to kindergarten AND you want them to know how to drink from a water bottle BEFORE they start.
Spare your child copious amounts of teasing because you send them with a sippy cup to kindergarten.


It is also not unrealistic to expect children 2+ to start taking a more active role in dressing and undressing themselves.  Otherwise the whole wanting them to learn to go to the bathroom by themselves is pointless.
Especially in a setting where they are not the only child around.  Knowing how to get one's pants down  by oneself can mean the difference between being successful at going to the bathroom and failing miserably.
They should be putting on their own shoes by 2.5 years of age.  They should be helping/doing most of taking off and putting on their own pants, shirts with help, socks with help.  Coats if taught the fun magic flip it over their head trick can be expected as early as age 2.
Zippers/snaps/buttons on average is 4+ years old, can occur younger depending on the interest of the child.

No it is not unrealistic to expect children at 18 months + to start to help pick up toys etc.  Yes they will need direction, BUT they can successfully help.
This is generally helped greatly by making it into a game (how fast can you go?/Can you find the ____ and put it in the bucket?) and singing some sort of song (most common is the Barney Clean up song or you can do what I do and pick a common children song tune and make up your own lyrics).

Seriously accountability and self help skills are something we need to be doing all the way along otherwise it is just becomes a battle later.

None of what I have written is new or mind blowing.  Most of it you can find on a number of parenting and child development websites and in numerous books.

Which makes me wonder why there are so many people who are so undereducated about their children?

Even I sot help from books when my son came a long.  Sure I had been working in child care for 5+ years.  All the children I cared for were 11 months old +
I knew nothing really about what to expect for a newborn child and it had been 7 years since I had taken the Infant and Toddler class in college.

Asking/looking for advice and help is not a bad thing.
It's never been so easy to gain information about child development and parenting advice.

Especially when you can go do it anonymously through the Internet if worried about what others might think.

11 Years with WBN

So tonight was an anniversary for me as a gamer.

Tonight marks the 11th year of my journey with Waterloo by Night.

The circumstances that led to me beginning with  the WBN LARP were not necessarily ideal, but none the less it was the start of long winding road.  Thanks Dan, Michelle and Brandon.

If you had told me 11 years ago, the girl knowing almost zero about RPGs/gaming etc, would one day be running the whole thing I would have laughed hysterically at you.

Trust me when I say that the team at the time I started failed me when it came to explaining what the game was about and how to create a character.  That was back when we were playing Masquerade.

But here I am.  Player for 10 years and now Story Teller to WBN.

Still learning.  Enjoying it far better then I ever expected.  I have learned a lot and am still learning and you know what I discovered?

That WBN has some pretty awesome players.

Sure there have been bumps in the road, but on the whole the entire group has been pretty understanding and helpful.

I know the setting of the game.  I know the social rolls and aspects of the game decently.  I suck at combat.
Perhaps because in 10.4 years I never played a combat oriented character.  So thank you all who have had to suffer through me running combat scenes, but I learn best by doing.

I also have to thank the previous ST team Alex and Ange in their support in helping me learn the ropes, Jon and Sean for starting the journey with me and for James stepping up to be my partner in crime.

I like telling stories.  I like seeing the stories unfold in game.  I like the fact that James can take my ideas and help me flesh them out to fit the system.

I do miss playing, but for the moment I find STing as rewarding, though different from being a player.